Regina Kriss, former Stanford clinical faculty member and therapist, dies at 82

Former Stanford clinical faculty member and therapist Dr. Regina T. Kriss, whose research at Stanford and years in private practice bettered the lives of countless patients, died on Monday, September 22nd, at her home in San Francisco, of pancreatic cancer. She was 82. During her long struggle with cancer and in her career as a therapist, Reggie had the opportunity to confront her own issues with life and death and help others to do the same. From her years as a high school counselor to her groundbreaking therapy research with cancer patients at Stanford and her years in private practice, she always found innovative ways to help those in need.

Hooked on Emotions
Reggie's first step in the career that defined her professional life was becoming a counselor and teacher at Ravenswood High School in East Palo Alto. In an environment where her students blamed others for their hardships and expected little of themselves, Reggie broke the mold. To show her students what they could achieve, Reggie brought into her classroom African-American professors, pilots, telephone engineers, and other professionals. With her straight talk and expressive personality, Reggie quickly became a favorite of the students and their families. She cherished the letters her students sent years later, recounting her positive influence, how she inspired them to go to college and how their own children were following in their footsteps.

In 1975, Reggie began her work in the Department of Psychiatry at the Stanford University School of Medicine as a research assistant and later co-therapist with Professor Irvin Yalom. A student observer of the first group therapy sessions for cancer patients ever conducted, Reggie's own silent battles with cancer were transformed into a passion for the issues of survival, self-image and sexuality. She became the project director for Post Mastectomy Group Therapy Research and developed revolutionary methods for treating terminal cancer patients. Reggie joined the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences as Assistant Clinical Professor in 1987 and became the supervisor of the Drug and Alcohol Clinic.

For 27 years, Reggie worked with individuals, couples and families in her private practice. Her immeasurable compassion, along with her personal and professional experience, led to a successful and fulfilling career. Known for her energy and optimism, she once asked a longtime patient, "How can you stand to come here and see me so upbeat when you're so miserable?" Her patient responded, "Well, I couldn't if I didn't know all the things you've been through." In Reggie's own words, "Somehow I gave her hope that one can get through terrible things and still survive."

Power of Positive Thinking
Reggie grew up in Portland, Oregon, where some of her earliest memories include eating caramel apples at the Seaside boardwalk and trying to dig her way to China through the sand at Cannon Beach. Of those times, she recalled, "I had a great deal of wonderment in me... I had read every fairytale in the library."

This wonderment blossomed at Reed College where Reggie made lifelong friends and discovered that she was not alone in her curiosity and imagination. She completed her degree while in Chicago, where she had met her future husband Joseph P. Kriss, M.D. Reggie and Joe were swept off their feet by each other's intellect and became engaged just twenty-four hours after meeting.

When Reggie was only thirty years old and with three young boys, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Upon awaking from surgery, in a time when the standard practice was not to inform terminal patients of their condition, Joe told her, "You've got lymphoma and you don't have long to live." As Reggie recalled, "I looked at him and burst out laughing. I said you're absolutely out of your mind. I'm just fine." Though it was not her last battle with cancer, Reggie lived for nearly 52 more years.

For the occasion of her 80th birthday, her son Mark produced a documentary film entitled One in a Million: Lessons from the Life of Reggie Kriss, which chronicled her exceptional life and captured the joy that she brought to the world despite its imperfections and misfortunes. Perhaps the central theme of her life, which she attributes to her father Milton Tarlow and repeated many times to her own grandchildren, was the saying "Where there's a will, there's a way." With every struggle, Reggie became more convinced that, as she would say: "You can make life work for you no matter what."

Reggie's husband Joe passed away in 1989, only nine days after retiring as the chief of Nuclear Medicine at Stanford. Even in her grief, Reggie inspired those close to her to follow their dreams and never give up. In 1996, she married Edwin Lennox with whom she has had a wonderful new life of adventure, laughter and love. Explaining her perpetual optimism, Reggie said, "To be sad for what one doesn't have is to give up hope for what time can bring. Losing Joe and gaining Ed is one great example."

As Reggie was able to say her own final goodbyes and well wishes, no public memorial services will be held. Her family invites all those who wish to celebrate her life to do so on her birthday, February 5th, together in spirit, at locations of their choosing. Donations to Sutter Hospice of San Francisco are suggested in lieu of gifts or flowers.

Reggie is survived by her husband, Edwin Lennox of San Francisco; sons and daughters-in-law, Eric and Barbara Kriss of Newton, MA, Paul Kriss of Sacramento, CA and Mark and Jane Kriss of Inverness, CA; grandsons, Aaron, Alex, Jesse and Peter; and a large extended family. For more information, please see the Reggie Kriss photo archive, memories guestbook and web-viewable release of One in a Million: Lessons from the Life of Reggie Kriss at foundation.krissfamily.org/reggie.php.